Why "Me Time" Makes You a Better Mom
When my daughter was born, I lost a part of me.
As much as I loved this little human who was the Sun of my universe, I did not recognize the person I saw in the mirror!
I did not look like myself.
I did not feel like myself and to be honest, I did not know what “myself” even met anymore!
There was this faint resemblance of my old life.
There was my new life.
And a huge gap between the two with no bridge in sight.
One day on a walk around the block, my brother finally pointed out what was so obvious to everyone else.
His words, and I quote:
“Please don’t put yourself after everyone else. Mom did that and it got her nowhere!
You owe it to your daughter. Teach her how to respect your own life and wishes”
Truer words were never spoken again!
I started doing little things for myself again.
Like taking time out for walks more, reading a little and even hitting the gym once in a while.
I slowly built the bridge between my old life and new and learnt to co-exist.
If you just got a little bundle of joy home and are feeling all of what I described here, please know, of all the things your child needs, a happy mother tops the lists!
Here are some ways I found some time for myself between a full time job and being a mother of a newborn.
First things first: Ditch the guilt.
This was the biggest hurdle for me!
After spending 9 to 5 at the office, I would come home so guilt ridden that taking even a minute out of the remaining 4 hours in the evening felt unfair to my little child.
What I thought of as selfish was actually essential!
I did deserve to get a tea break in the evening, to wash off the office and to clear my mind. After refueling and recharging I was a better mom and better partner and had more energy to enjoy a fun evening at the park with my family.
Now, onto the real part: finding those precious minutes.
Another thing that kept me from taking care of myself was this idea of “free time”
I will go to the gym when I have an hour available in the morning.
I will go for an evening stroll when I have at least 30 minutes to spare.
I can’t take a shower now, we have to leave in 15 minutes!
I kept waiting for these big chunks of time to free up for me to be able to squeeze some time for myself. When in reality, I could always go to the gym at lunch hour or squeeze in an evening walk right after dinner.
Start small, don’t wait for big, momentous time breaks. Think "baby steps," not marathons. Here are some ideas:
Morning magic:
Wake up 15 minutes before the chaos erupts. Enjoy a quiet cup of coffee, read a few pages of a book, or meditate. It's your golden hour (even if it's tiny!). Mornings don't always have to be rushed!
Lunchtime escape:
Trade a work lunch for a solo walk in the park, listen to your favorite podcast, or simply sit in your car and breathe. Fresh air and a mental break can do wonders.
Delegate like a boss:
Can your partner handle bath time one night? Hire a babysitter for an hour a week? Don't be afraid to ask for help!
Embrace the power of "no":
Feeling overwhelmed? Saying no to an extra commitment is self-care, not rudeness. Protect your precious time fiercely.
Micro-tasks, maxi-impact:
Sneak in quick "me moments" throughout the day. Do some stretches while the laundry spins, listen to an audiobook while folding dishes, or take a power shower while your little one plays independently (fingers crossed!).
Slowly but surely, self care will start to feel sacred and not selfish, just what it’s meant to be! Until then, keep reminding yourself, you and your baby deserve a happy, well rested mamma.
Take care!
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